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[[tired savior, a wasted favor]] [entries|friends|calendar]
broke your fucking mold, then threw away the cast

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ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!! [16 Jul 2004|02:31pm]


yeh yeh, i couldn't have mrs...pffft, bastards!
Add me, i've added all of you.
5 breaths| suffocate me

[15 Jul 2004|06:40pm]
Okay, so I'm kind of thinking of new names, for a new journal. VOTE BITCHES.

1: burnpianoisland
2: pinballmasquerade
3: mrselectricbride
4: anatomyofyourkiss
5: shootingyouintheface
6: sixnightmares
7: notearsforyou

That's it so far, they kind of suck, a lot. But I'm still thinking and looking. I'm not entirely sure if I will get a new username or whatever, but I'm thinking about it. C'mon.
14 breaths| suffocate me

[14 Jul 2004|04:44pm]
What time are you starting this?: 4.44PM
Sex?: FFF.
Height?: 5'3 I THINK?
Where were you born?: AUCKLAND.
Been in a car accident?: MHMM
Favorite drink?: ICE COFFEE. COKE!
Whom did you get your last email from?: UM, JACK!
Most annoying thing to say to me?: "I'M SORRY" OR "AYE?"

Do you smoke?: YUH
Do you drink?: UH HUH
Have you ever been slapped?: NOT THAT I KNOW OF.
Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?: YEAH.
Have you ever gotten high?: YEAH.
Do you drink a lot of water?: INDEED!.
What do you want pierced?: A LOT
Do you like takin pictures?: YEAH!
Do you have a tan?: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Do you get annoyed easily?: UH HUH.
What do you want a tattoo of?: I'VE GOT ONE.
What is your heritage?: ENGLISH, IRISH, SCOTTISH.
What is your lucky number?: SEVEN AND FOURTEEN.
Do you look more like your mother or father?: NOT SURE.
Do you cry a lot?: WHAT'S A LOT? BUT PROBABLY NOT.
What is one of your bad qualilties?: THINKING TOO MUCH.
What is one of your good qualilties?: I'M RANDOM, EXPRESSIVE, AND AS CHLOE SAID "MACABRE".
Would you ever bungee jump?: I HAVE!!!
Hearts or broken hearts?: UNSURE.
Moons or stars?: MOONS.
Coke or pepsi?: COKE.
Favorite scent?: UH, DUNNO.
Favorite band?: BLOOD BROTHERS.
Would you ever dye your hair red?: I HAVE, MANY TIMES.
How many languages can you speak?: UH, CZECH, ENGLISH, A BIT OF GERMAN - THREE, OH AND SPANISH, FOUR.
What time are you finishing this?: 4.53PM

2 breaths| suffocate me

[14 Jul 2004|04:17pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Gur. Total gayness. I have lots of awesome photos on my digi cam, but I left the fucking charger/uploader at Ambers house. So, as a consequence, none of you get to see the wonderful photos, until - sunday, at least. Mwaha.
I'm at home now, and I can't say it's all that great. But, whatever.
Amber and I sang "Barbie Girl" and Grease's "the one that I want" for about one hour, all through town. Some people would dance and sing along with us, and others, well - someone told us to shut up! haha, bitchin.
Chloe, I do NOT want to go back to school, seriously. Never, ever, never.
Haha, Jack is SO cute - check this out :

"i'm like...right behind him deep in concentration, trying to help super mario save teh world!!11!.
& i saw the BIGGEST spider ever last night and i had to call someone over to get rid of it OMGFZ THEY ARE TEH EVILEST!!11!."

Ooo, I am so p'd off about these photos, I want to f'in see them! Gurr.
Okay, well I'm bored, and that's pretty much it.

4 breaths| suffocate me

RARH! [09 Jul 2004|08:28pm]
Believe it, or don't. But I am a total nerd.

8 breaths| suffocate me

Smoking in the boys room. [08 Jul 2004|03:56pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

HAHA CHLOE AND I HAVE JUST REALISED SOMETHING SO PATHETIC AND FASCINATING...Think about the term "everything happens for a reason"..right now I am somewhat laughing at this becuase people grip onto this because they can't even begin to comprehend a situation...sort of like, religion.

^ That has nothing to do with what I wanted to say.


Doesn't Tommy Lee look GREAT. Yus. I've seen him twice on the sharon osbourne show now, and both times i've been drooling. Harrr.

4 breaths| suffocate me

So, this is what happens to me. [08 Jul 2004|12:33am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I'm not even tired yet. Not even the slightest bit. Perhaps, I will try to sleep sometime BEFORE 4a.m. thismorning, but you never know what will happen, right.

I fucking love Bon Jovi, Motorhead and Motley Crue. Yes!!
Sometimes I wonder what holds me here. Because I feel like absolute shit lately, and sure I think "it would be so good to be dead" but then I think "no, pains worth it, who cares!". Something holds me here, and perhaps I do like feeling depressed because it's such a strong emotion.
The only thing I slightly hate (even though I am extremely introverted) is that - I can be seriously upset but hide it from my friends. It's not being fake, and it's not an act - but I can change my mood to better the situation. Sometimes I feel like a liar, but I don't think that's the case.

Rah. Where is everyone!?
suffocate me

[07 Jul 2004|10:56pm]
[ mood | confused ]

i've had a weird time, really. my mind is all over the place and so are my moods. I dyed Ambers hair a dark/bright purple. it looks good, i'm just getting used to it though. spent almost every night with daniel..while the rest of the time was spent with amber. we're going to hannahs party this weekend, we're going to be pixies, it's a "p" party, and i can not be bothered going to find an outfit for a war pilot, sooo i'm doin the easy thing.
chloe, that pictures from dieselsweeties, isn't that the truth!?
i could moan, bitch, whinge, vent, rant or whatever it may be ; but for now, i choose not to. Perhaps I will when I am still awake at 4.00a.m. thismorning, because thats what i seem to be doing lately - NOT SLEEPING. Ha, my sleeping patterns are weird.
Thurs = slept - 2am - 10am
Frid = slept - 4am - 11am
Satu = slept - 6.30am - 11am
Sund = slept - 4am - 3pm
Mond = slept - 1am - 9am
Tues = slept - 3.30am - 11am

No, I don't ask for much, do I.
3 breaths| suffocate me

[06 Jul 2004|11:06am]
My Best Friend is machina
Our 11 common interests are: autopsies, bass, bauhaus, blood, bones, bruises, forensics, gore, mohawks, razor blades, records
Who is your best friend?
Created by macoto
2 breaths| suffocate me

[04 Jul 2004|04:48pm]
I fucking wish someone understood.

I wish someone could be spontaneous and dance in the fucking rain with me.

I just wish things could go my way, for a day. AT LEAST.

Give me a break.

"from you one look, just one look and everything is shattered".
6 breaths| suffocate me

FUCK. [04 Jul 2004|04:34pm]
So, I was in a FANTASTIC mood...until I got home.
Funny how that happens? Not really.

So, went to ambers on thursday..went to Mission bay - Starbucks..
Next day Amber went to course and came back - then we drove to some place beginning with "P" I don't remember where..to pick up Jo and Belinda..came home, got ready and went to Starbucks...then drove around town while I yelled at people on Queen Street. Screaming "OH MY GOD" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" I screamed "YEAH BABY!" at one guy and he jumped over and hugged his friend out of fright.
Then we saw these guys, one was rubbing his nipples so I screamed "YEAAAH!" and he laughed. Then we saw him again and I was dared to say "WHAT COLOUR UNDIES ARE YOU WEARING" so I did..he started taking off his belt, was rather funny.
Jacquie turned up and we drove around town, got some food etc. Bumped into Hayley - which was really great!!! :)

Saturday, went to Glenfield - then went home and got ready, lots of people came over for drinks - it was cool, but I got pissed off and bored for a bit because I knew everyone was leaving to go into town. Then, this guy turns up and I was like "wow, he's hot" ha, and everyone left - he "pretended" to be asleep so he stayed, got up and started drinking with me and Jo. We get along really well, stayed up till 6am and finally went to sleep. Got up thismorning, everyone left so it was just me, amber and daniel left..stayed there all day, up until now - ambers gone to waiwera and i didn't want to go so i'm at home until about 9 which kind of sucks. I was really happy until my Mum said "im stopping your money as of this thursday, go and apply at wendys" for a fucking job!? ew, that is DISGUSTING. No, i am not lazy at all - but i can't fucking stand people, especially the people around here, and I do not want to be seen working at Wendys. Gross.
Daniel put me in a really good mood though, I was pretty upset etc, but it was fun to sit up with him all night, basically. Today was even funnier...won't explain why because it wont be funny.

How was/is your weekend?
6 breaths| suffocate me

Hey baby hey baby hey. [02 Jul 2004|11:10am]
[ mood | content ]

Hey guys..
so, im sitting in my friends house (ambers) and she's at her graphics and web design course until 2.45. Yay. I'm rather bored...so, comment and keep me entertained!! SERIOUSLY, I AM BEGGING YOU.

It's an old vintage house in the city, really cool but I keep getting scared!! haha, pitiful.
I fucking hate insolent little shits, I hate almost 80% of the people at my school, simply because they refuse to open their fucking eyes. I hate that *rant,rant,rant*.

What's new?
Ask me a question...I shall answer in good time!!
Tonight Belinda, Johanna, and Jacquie are coming over to Ambers for her b'day..so we will probably have drinks and go for a drive..maybe the drags? buh.
Tomorrow, Gary, Sebastian, Ash, Jason x2, Lanny, Chris and Hamish should also be coming over, for drinks..before they all go to town. Unfortunately,both Johanna and myself areanot 18, yet. So, we will go get dinner or something, whilst they all go clubbing *pity*.
Okay, REPLY before I die of boredom.

4 breaths| suffocate me

[30 Jun 2004|09:20pm]
Hello new hair. I've got a fringe/bangs. oh my god!! how weird.

EDIT : and holy shit, i am almost crying over a stupid song?! when did i turn into such a wuss? (ha, i've always been one - im just good at hiding it!) Remy Zero -shattered.
Also listening to a song called "siempre" does that mean "always"?
7 breaths| suffocate me

So this is what true pain feels like? [29 Jun 2004|07:41pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Too be fucking monotonous and a whinge...I am sick to death of people and their tiresome bullshit. I am sick of people being liars, I am sick of all this "I heard.." "he said.." "she said.." bullshit! You tell me to get a grip on reality and to get off my "high horse" I don't know whether to laugh at that or just pretend like you never said it. Because that's a fucking joke! Perhaps I should take a look in the mirror and say "Am I fake? Do I realise what goes on in the world? Do i feel pain/love/anger/empathy?" Yes..I fucking do! I think I know what reality is, and I think I have a grip on it, but it all depends how you define "reality". I thought reality was defined as something that was real, fact, the state of being actual or true? Maybe I was wrong.
I'm sorry to anyone who likes pathetic bitch wannabes ; but I can not fucking stand them. I am sick of the human race.

"Life is only an outer layer, for reality is only realized by the insane" Valleix Herard.
Agree? Disagree?

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it oepns up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love". Neil Gaiman.

Agree? Disagree?

I would prefer it if you never spoke to me again.

[[doesn't know whether she should be yelling, crying, laughing, going insane?!]]

5 breaths| suffocate me

My boots bring all the boys to the yard. [29 Jun 2004|01:17pm]
My ball shoes, well...boots!!! Chloe, you like??

15 breaths| suffocate me

[28 Jun 2004|08:56pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Haha, my Mums profile for MSN is actually rather cute. Check this out.

"I know out there somewhere... there is someone who enjoys my company as much as i enjoy theirs. C'mon u have have nothing to lose by saying Hi but u may gain a friend!

Life,Laughter,My kids,Good times and lots more but these are the important things!

sailing, fishing, cars (car shows etc), computers, travel and kick'n with teens cos I have 3 of them!

'Friends are like angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. ' "

ooo, that's so cute. I think so, anyhow.
Just felt like showing that, I think it's funny!

2 breaths| suffocate me

[28 Jun 2004|06:13pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

So, basically - I am trying to get ChloeJ to have a fringe/bangs.
I REALLY think she should do it, because it would look awesome, spectacccuuular!
I don't know, that's just my opinion. This girl is failing to give into peer pressure, tisk tisk.
But really, if you don't want one, then don't cut one! But I think it would look neat.

And yes, I did steal that photo from your blog.
Let's just say, my report wasn't the greatest, but then again - who wasn't expecting that!?

6 breaths| suffocate me

Look in the mirror and see, the problem is you, not me. [27 Jun 2004|04:11pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustable well. Yet everything happens a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even concieve of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that. How many times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless." - Brandon Lee during his final interview

I love 'The Crow'. I remember the first time I rented it out, I didn't take it back within the given time, not even close. I think I kept it for about 2 months or so. Probably watched it around 20 times, plus.

My weekend was long, eventful, but also really short and boring at the same time.
At the moment I am just thinking about everything, friendships, questions I ask, school, anger, the ball (!!!).
Instead of me being the one who challanges you with questions, I wish someone would challange me. Because with my friends it's like, a large majority will see something in the same persepctive, and then I come along and say "oh..well..?" and it's not often that people can answer, nor can they begin to comprehend what i am trying to get at. When they do, it's really cool - because they manage to challange themselves and see something from someone elses perspective. I wish someone could ask me a question about reality (not school) that would challange me. But, I am sure it will happen, eventually.

So, what's up?

P.S. ChloeJ, we need to start some work on that poster for the ball, yus?

6 breaths| suffocate me

[24 Jun 2004|08:53pm]


Oh, except for you Chloe.

You insolent little pukes! you call ME two faced!? of all fucking people!
2 breaths| suffocate me

[23 Jun 2004|06:38pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

Hello carly, I miss you!

There's a lot I could say right now, but I wont bother. No motivation.

suffocate me

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